Alright, well sorry it's been so long! Been busy and lets face it.. somedays I'd rather just relax than write in here after a hard days work. So I'm very excited because after I got home tonight I was feeling very experimental with my photography - especially lighting. I was getting discouraged however, because I don't have the funds to purchase me an external flash yet so I started thinking how could I get dramatic lighting for cheap when it came to me.. a diffuser for my built-in! I've been messing around with putting my hand over the flash at certain distances to see what kind of effects I would get and so instead of continuing to just cover the flash with my hand I went in search of making my own. I ended up finding someone who tilted a business card at about a 45 degree angle so their flash would bounce off the card creating diffusion. Let me tell you.. it works GREAT!!!! I can't wait to work with an external flash but let me post to you the dramatic differences I've already seen.

Top: Fully Exposed Flash
Bottom: DIY Diffuser

Photographic Test 1




Photographic Test 2





Photographic Test 3





Photographic Test 4 (My favorite)



Well that concludes my photographic tests of my home made diffuser and it is getting pretty late after a 3-day weekend so it's about bed time. I'll probably post more shots soon of this being used in practical situations. Goodnight everyone.

It's been too long, my friends.

Well after months and months of not posting on this thing.. I figured maybe I should start again. I've come to realize I need something stable in my life to also help me express myself more so maybe a dedicated blog would help... I know the last post I wrote I was with Kelsey and for those of you who know me.. that ended quite awhile ago already. It's true though, we split up.. time to move on. Life is pretty decent right now, still figuring out things in my life and who I am and all that jazz but I do know a few things in my future to be certain.

I will one day have:
1. A loving and beautiful wife
2. A SHITLOAD of tattoos
3. Black

Coming back to my blog, however, I am still pretty pleased with the name I have previously given it.. still suits. As far as what I've been doing lately.. still working, been focusing more on photography (even as a career), coming up with new tattoo ideas to finish atleast a sleeve and watching a fuck ton of movies. Now I know I've said this before but something I've really been wanting to do is finally clean my room... and not to just have a clean room but to help change new things I want in life.. and a room I've always dreamed of having is in my grasp, so why not go for it? I will call this mission; operation: clean room. It will undergo later this week into the weekend (3 day weekend again). I figure I'm not getting any younger and if I want to make something with this life I'm going to have to do it myself so a clean room atleast would be a good start. I mentioned photography.. been doing more of that as well. I really want to try portraits and long exposures.. I'd really love to get an ND filter and mess with long exposures at the beach. I'm running out of shit to run my mind about so I'll just leave you with this for now and I might post up some photography later...

Well shit! I haven't updated in quite a long time now and I figured maybe I should get back into doing this... not that anyone would read this anyways but whatever. Lets see here.. I switched jobs about 2 months ago and everything is going well with that, like most of the people I work with and it's an easy enough job but I have my days as does anyone else so I guess there isn't much to complain about. I got back together with Kelsey and we just moved into our own apartment so that's definitely exciting! We sometimes work completely opposite hours so that sucks but we're making it work the best we can. Uhh.. I've continued modifying my car and have quite a ways to go before I'm happy with the exterior again. It's getting late and I'm getting tired so I guess I can update another time.

i never thought i could love someone so much to the point that thinking of not having them in my life would make me want to be physically ill. i never thought id ever cry so much over someone. i feel so lonely right now its kind of hard to care about doing a lot of things but at the same time im so inspired to just do something better with my life... go to school.. move out... because im not going to be working this same type of job when i near 30; ive made this a goal. i cant eat, i feel so lost and confused. i just think letting her go was the biggest mistake ive ever made. i know im not making any sense, i feel like i cant finish a thought completely.

this is how ive been feeling as of late:

i love this girl more than anything.

took this the other day, parents are borrowing my camera while in hawaii.
i miss it already.

gatorade.. i fucking laugh everytime.

i hate money sometimes. on payday i have to use a huge chunk of it to finish paying off my sidekick/phone bill. other than that im going to try and put some towards my credit cards (which i usually always do anyways), and i have to buy a bus pass. the check after this one i think im going to have to pay my phone bills again but whatever...... ugh.

im still having trouble adding youtube videos to my blogger account, maybe ill figure it out soon.

edit: i couldnt feel any more stupid right now.

ok, so lately ive been hearing a lot about harold hunter/his death and knew he skated for supreme? whatever, im late. i dont know much about supreme and all that but the east coast has a whole different skateboarding scene than us anyway; but back on topic; i just saw some older footage of him skating and realized it was the weird looking dude in kids... hate to be mean but he just has this unforgettable face. if you havent seen kids, go buy it! i love that film. (i have to add in here that harold hunter is in one of the best parts of the movie; they kick the shit out of this guy who gets in the way of justin pierces character) anywho, made by larry clark in 95, i remember watching this with my brother back in the day. has a few mentionable people, leo fitzpatrick (love his character), justin pierce (rip), i believe it is chloe sevigny and rosario dawsons first movie, and then of course harold hunter. there are probably a few more but not seeing much on imdb.

on to something else! just picked these up:

purple velvet jack purcell for $10.

check out the inside!

these as well, couldnt be more obsessed.

i also got two striped tees today that i might post pics of later; who knows.


i dont want to work in the morning....


oh yeah; i cant get enough of this lately:
well it was a video i keep trying to post of queen - we are the champions, but youtube wont fucking let me. fuck you youtube. should be called douchetube.

edit: (figured it out!)

why is this world so fucked?

as it being one of my days off this week, i went to lunch with my parents before my dad was supposed to pick up his new truck. on the way there i had heard something about a shooting on the radio but had thought it was something referring back to columbine. after lunch on the way home, they kept talking about this shooting so i had asked what happened and found out that there had been a shooting at virgina tech. they had said there was atleast 33 people dead and that he had barricaded the doors. im still not quite sure on all the details or what happened but it got me thinking... i started thinking about life in general, the shooters life, the lives of the people who have died. it just saddens and frustrates me all at the same time. out of anger im going to say right now that im glad he decided to end his own life, but why so many others? why take those innocent lives with you? what did they do to you? i just cant comprehend right now why all of this happened, maybe no one can. im so confused about the whole situation but i do know that watching maury earlier today is nothing compared to this. i watch maury from time to time and sometimes theres some pretty heart wrenching stories when you get wrapped up in the show but coming home and having this on the tv is pitiful, these people are pathetic; crying because your boyfriend cheated? who fucking cares. losing lives of loved ones in a fucking massacre... thats something to cry about. still thinking about it i just want to burst into tears im so enraged. i cant produce clear thoughts right now and ive probably repeated myself about 10 times so im going to quit writing. my regards to the families of all the lives lost today in that tragic event.

on a last note: my myspace quote is i love humanity but i hate people. as ive changed this within the past few days i can just feel the irony in it.